Currently Listening Stand Still, Look Pretty By The Wreckers, Michelle Branch, Jessica Harp see related

Stand Still, Look Pretty--The Wreckers

I want to paint my face
And pretend that I am someone else
Sometimes I get so fed up
I don't even want to look at myself

But people have problems that are worse than mine
I don't want you to think I'm complaining all the time
And I hate the way you look at me I have to say
I wish I could start over

I am slowly falling apart
I wish you'd take a walk in my shoes for a start
You might think it's easy being me
You just stand still, look pretty

Sometimes I find myself shaking
In the middle of the night
And then it hits me and I can't
Even believe this is my life

But people have problems that are worse than mine
I don't want you to think I'm complaining all the time
And I wish that everyone would go and shut their mouths
I'm not strong enough to deal with it

If you only knew how much this song relates to my life.  But, I just want ya'll to know that I am doing so much better than last time.  Yeah, things with that never really got completely right, but it's okay--we've all let it go.  And I'm okay with that.

Xanga is dying, I must say.  But, for those of ya'll who still read this thing, this is for you.

Cheer is...well, cheer.  People are still stupid, they still piss me off, and they are still seemingly just there to make me mad.  But I figure being captain, that's kinda how it goes, and that's kinda what it's going to be like all year.  But for those cheerleaders who read this, we WILL be good, and we will impress the school.  I am so excited about this year, even through all the "I want to quit" times.  I still don't want to be around some certain people on the squad, but oh well--you don't always get what you want. 

The rest of life is good.  Ethan and I are fantabulous.  Still going strong, almost 11 months now.  My parents keep bugging me about where I want to go to college, and my mom told me yesterday that she thinks I should stay close to home because I am "little"--not young, little.  I know she didn't mean it like that, but I thought it was funny. 

Hope all is well for the rest of you.

Smile...'cause I love you.

It hurts me to think of the people who are against me right now.  I have so many friends, yet the ones I thought closest won't even talk to me.  And I have not done anything wrong.  I told the truth.  I stuck up for myself.  I took what was thrown at me, and I tried to make things right.  And it's all backfired.  I can't do anything about it.  I'm sorry that I was truthful.  I'm sorry that I was trying to be honest, and let the truth be known.  And all I feel right now...is sadness. 

Thank you to those who have stuck by me in this.  I am so grateful, and I can't express how much that means to me.  I appreciate the prayers and the people who have helped and encouraged me through this, and thanks to Ethan for lending me a shoulder to cry on. 

Life is crazy.

Got in my first wreck, not going on my mission trip, rumor is I'm a prayer group leader next year, been working like crazy, gone to the lake, had a blast on our mission trip to Hattiesburg, had a crazy week at cheer camp, got our cheer mats in, danced and tumbled on them, cleaned the CHEERLEADING GYM (no longer the Carl Gym--it has been renamed), had a great 4th of July, kinda confused about friends at the moment.  Like I said, it's been crazy. 

I don't know why I'm updating--I guess because I have nothing better to do. 

Ethan and I are still doing great--been 9 months now.  *smile*

Well, until next time.

"Everything"

You gave your love to me
When I didn't have a thing to offer you the dreams
And you believed, and now you think that I'm gon' dip
But I know you aint gon' trip
Don't act like you don't know just what this is

I can tell when we kiss, when we touch, when we making sweet love
You know this thing is forever
You know the drill keep it real
Nothing will ever come between us
And I won't leave you never

I put that on everything I love
I put that on my momma, baby you can trust in us
I put that on everything I own, for all my life I promise
That you will never be alone
I put that on everything I am, you gotta understand
I'll always be your man
I put that on everything I know, I never let you go
'Cause girl I love you so
I put that on:

Everything you need, I'll get it for you
A few heads I'll split 'em for you, you know I die for you
And girl you make me whole, you are my sisters soul
And you can try to act like you don't know
But, I can tell when we kiss, when we touch, when we making sweet love
You know this thing is forever
You know the drill keep it real
Nothing will ever come between us
And I won't leave you never

Everything I need I got right here with you
You know I'm true
Don't worry baby, I will never leave you
I adore you

And I put that on everything

I like that song.  A lot.  Except for the making sweet love thing.  Not my style.

I think this is it.  I'm tired of xanga.  But I may keep commenting, but I don't know, my computer doesn't like my xanga--it says it has "inappropriate links".  Whatever.

Tata for now!

Leave me some lovin'.

Currently Listening Me & My Gang By Rascal Flatts What Hurts the Most see related

Cruise=amazing. encredible. empressive.  whatever.  It was great.

So I've decided (this isn't directed at anyone in particular) that my class sucks.  I feel so isolated from everyone my age because I hang out with amazing sophmores.  I just feel so isolated.  Like looking on here, I see so many pictures of groups of friends the same age, and I miss that so much.  I don't know what happened.  But it makes me so sad.  I have two-count them, 2-kinda close friends in my grade, and that's it.  And guess how many care or would like to change it: none. zip. zilch. zero.  Okay, maybe that's a little harsh, but still.  I guess I'm just in a mood.

Other than that, I am absolutely loving life.  Cheer tryouts clinic coming up next week, cheer tryouts the following Monday.  Ethan + me = amazing.  Yes, in fact, he did survive a full 8 days without seeing me, 5 of which he couldn't talk to me at all.  I know, it's amazing.  I absolutely love how things are going for me at the moment, including cheer stuff, family stuff (with a few exceptions) and other stuff that's just good.  It's nice--it's been a while since more that just a handfull of things go well for me.  I think our cruise kinda woke me up into what is so great in my life. 

So here are a few random, funny stories from my trip, many of which could have been very embarrasing:

--So, first night at dinner, we get all dressed up, dresses, heels, curled hair, the whole 9 yards.  We walk in through these big red double doors, sit down, have a 5 course meal, which could have been better w/o the veggie quesadilla Cassie ordered.  Anyway, we get done with our dinner and get up to leave.  So we assume, hey, we came in through these doors, so we'll be leaving through them right?  By now the doors are shut, so we see a handle, push on it, yet can't seem to get the doors open.  Cassie and I are both pushing, trying to get out when we hear a voice from behind: "Ladies.  It's  right THERE."  There was a door to our left not 3 feet from where we were but neither of us saw it.  And the way he said it....yeah.  We felt pretty dumb.

--1st full day on the cruise, Cassie and I are laying out on the top deck, getting some sun.  There's a group of college students from Tulsa right next to us, and they are all either, drunk, drinking, or ordering beer.  So the girl next to Cassie orders one beer, but the guy said something to her about being cheaper, but she couldn't understand him, so she just said okay, whatever.  He brings her back a bucket of 6 beers, to her surprise.  Anyway, so her dad comes up to her with her room key (he had taken it to get something out of her room for her) so she scoots the bucket away and tells him it's not hers, and he said something like "you would only order one, right?"  "of course"  So he leaves, and she starts drinking.  A while later, she's on her 4th or 5th beer, and one of the guys with the group was like "don't you know your parents are over there watching you drink all of these beers?"  Yeah, it was great.

--Lastly, our waiter for the trip was Ricardo.  And he loved to pick on Cassie.  So he would take everyone's order, and then come back to her for hers, and tell her it was "bor-ing."  He would go to give her the menu, and make her chase it, etc.  The last night, Cassie asked him if he would miss her when we left.  He responded "So many people come through here each week, I never miss anyone."  And so I asked him, just to test him, if he would miss me.  He responded with " Of course, you are my favorite."

Sorry it's so long, but you have to admit that the stories are funny.  Leave me some loving...